My Heart

Sometimes I wonder why I gave you my heart. Why did I give you the opportunity to hurt me. Do you not see how bad it brings me down? I just wonder why did this ever start? I love you and you knew that, but that didn't affect you at all. I have so much space in my heart for you, yet you make it seem so small.

I sit here and look at you and wonder, why? 

Why does it always seem like i'm not enough. Yes I get it i'm not as exciting as I once was. The problem is things changed. I cant be who I once was, I just cant! 

Why you ask? and I know you are.

Because would you be the same person if you found out that everything you did to me was the same things I did to you? 

Would you still see me the same? Would you still love me the same? Would you still desire me the same? Ask yourself all these questions.  

Imagine if I was following all these men, imagine if I was looking at pictures of half naked me, or looking at naked men on the internet. How would that make you feel.

The problem is i'm not enough, if I don't give you what you want you go and betray me and find it somewhere else. That's not what a relationship is, but most importantly that's not what marriage is.

If I really wanted to I could do it too. I have so many guys still after me. I could easily message one of them and say hey lets go out. But I'll NEVER do that. Why? Because i have enough respect for you and our marriage that I don't need to, but it seems like you don't.

You don't see anything wrong with it, but you have no idea how much damage you are really doing.
I'm not going yo be married to a person who doesn't know how to respect their partner. Especially after they have given them a child. Like I've said don't be surprised if one day you come home and we are no longer here.

I've given you multiple of chances, that maybe I shouldn't have given you. But one can only give so much until they say enough is enough.