I just want to thank anyone who reads my blog, and if you read it daily then wow thank you so much! Like it says in my bio i'm just a teenager trying to figure out where she stands in this world. we have a long weekend and i'm trying to hopefully getting some homework done! i still have to go to college on monday but i dont start till noon so it'll give me sometime to more homework! if anyone would like to send me an email to just chat, you are welcomed to.

Email- leslie.avalos18@gmail.com

Done!!

Just like my title says....DONE!!! honestly i cant do this anymore, I've tired everything i could to make things work for me. I guess it's not suppose to happen. I can no long act like everything is fine and that'll get better, because honestly it  feels like it won't! I'm so stressed about everything, school, family, guys, EVERYTHING!! Honestly i thought i had found the one for me with my new bf. but ha he broke up with me. Thanks for getting my hopes up, yeah I'm sorry that i couldn't always be there when you wanted. I'm a girl who is still in high school, works, and has a ton of homework ! OK i don't have time to drive and see you everyday like you want me to. Whatever that's how you wanted it ..fine! I'm not gonna go cry about it!
                   well Bob is an ASSHOLE.. honestly i just asked you one damn question you don't have to get all pissy with me!! I was already having a bad day, and you just made it worse! You know what go be with whoever pleases you and gives you everything you ask for cause i sure won't be doing that anymore. I was there for you all those times you needed me so then you could just throw me away like nothing. If you think you're going to be able to come back and have me whenever you want, you are deff crazy!! like i said you are * CLAP CLAP* cut off !!!!!!
               I haven't been feeling good lately and I've been having headaches. I kicked my butt in a workout yesterday and i didn't eat so today I felt  like i was going to pass out.

Ughhhh !!!

Ughhh I miss bob ... Honestly I really need to talk to him :/ we snapchatted for a bit but I didn't get to tell him what's going on. Honestly being friends with bob is making everything so much easier ! I love that I can talk to him & he can talk to me without hiding who he is! Even before he told me everything I kinda already knew! Thank god I see him when I get back !!! Bdubs and a nice talk will be amazing!! 

Who I am, who I was, who I wanna be!

Its time for the truth ... Here goes nothing ...

Okay well who I am? I'm a girl who has so many things wrong with her it's not even funny. I'm nice, funny, & outgoing, but I can also be really mean and harsh. Why because I found out life is an asshole! I'm a 17 year old girl who suffers from depression, anxiety, insomnia, eating disorder, & now adding to my list I have high cholesterol and I have spleen problems & I have the highest chance of getting a heart disease or even a heart attack. Yup I'm only 17 !!  I'm going through a very tough situation right now, my parents are unbearable they have been driving me insane especially my mom!!! :( I'm so behind in school because I've been gone a lot. Yup I've been stuck in the hospital! College is coming up and I honestly don't know where I wanna go and my family is putting so much pressure on me I can't take it.. My brother has told me to move in with him in South Dakota .. & honestly I'm actually thinking about that! I fall for guys too fast & wayyy to easily & I honestly really hate it! But we can say I'm doing a little better than I was before! I was out of control... I'm actually surprised I'm still alive and not somewhere else. I was a horrible person & deep down I still think I am. I went through so much shit & cried too many damn tears!!! I was fucked over by the person I loved , I was hurt emotionally, mentally, & physically ... Yup I was in an abusive relationship & honest I don't know why I put up with that but back then I was a little bitch who was too afraid to say or do anything. I got into doing drugs and drinking .. I started cutting I still have scars but I'll never show you ! So I mean I've been clean for while which is good right ?!?! Honestly I just wanna go to college and move out and be on my own & do what I want.. I need space! I wanna meet someone who is gonna take me for who I am.. I am a tough person because I go through tough things and times.. Sometimes I don't wanna talk to anyone and sometimes I need you to listen. I wanna get a degree in the career field I love and start living life like I want it not like my parents want... I thought it was time you guys knew the truth !! Emails are welcomed .. Questions too !! 

Update!!!

I know I haven't been writing stuff lately, it's been kinda hard to! Well here's a quick update .. Mason is out of my life! Yup no more .. It wasn't working out, he was always busy. So he SAYS!! I know the truth, & I know things that I wish I didn't :( but whatever. Soooo you know about that guy I said I met on that app. Well we decided to just be friends for right now & honestly I'm okay with that because idk if I can be committed In a relationship right now.. It's been hard lately ! We hang out once in awhile, or whenever I'm freaking out or just need to get out. He honestly lives so close to me & I love that (: I've always wanted a guy best friend and I can say that I found him <3 he's amazing & I appreciate everything he's doing to maintain me stable! Here comes the favorite part for most of you guys ... BOB !!! Some of you guys have been emailing me about what's happened with him! Well here it is... I know the last time I wrote about him I was done & everything! Well for some reason on New Years you know I sent a massive text message to everyone on my phone & to my surprise he responded back! We talked all night .. Well texted !! We talked about so many things, he opened up to me guys! Now I know why he's always having a hard time to committing and why he has the problems he has! Honestly him telling me things he's never told anyone before made me feel real special! He trusts me  & I now know that & I trust him too. We've been through so much this past year, that we know each other so well that we're not afraid to show who we really are! Yeah we're good now, & our relationship is better than ever! Whenever he's having a tough day or time he calls me or texts me & just talks to me about it & I try to help! It's nice to have him back in my life, honestly he's the only guy I'm afraid to lose in my life. When I get the feeling that he's distancing himself from me I start to panic & get so sad because I need him in my life! Well yup that's the update guys!! Ooo I get to see bob soon